Who IS the Big Hutch?
The Big Hutch is the biggest person you know. Don’t believe it? Think of the biggest person you know. I am bigger than that. I am often mistaken for being a UT football player, since I am in Austin, TX. This happens at least once a week. And at least once a day I am asked how tall I am. I usually then ask them to guess, and so far people have guessed as low as 6′2″ (i think that lady was retarded) and as high as 7′0″ (also not the brightest bulb in the chandelier). I am 6′7″, and while you all may know someone taller, I do, I am guaranteed to be more massive than that person. That’s probably why NASA keeps calling me. Apparently if I get much bigger, I will begin to develop my own gravity, which could have the side-effect off throwing of the Earth’s rotation and plunging us all into the sun. Frankly I don’t see how that is my problem, but whatever you say, NASA. It’s you guys who are the over-paid geniuses, not me (I am in fact way UNDER-paid). I am so big that people often just stop and stare at me. In fact, there was one time in Acapulco when I was walking down a hallway to my luxurious hotel room at the Playa Suites, walking behind 2 normal-sized guys. One of them glanced back, saw me, and his eyes went wide. He turned back to the other guy, still walking, and said, “Don’t look now, but the biggest guy I’ve ever seen is right behind you.” True story. So I killed them. That part’s not true, but it could have been.
Long story short, the only thing bigger than me is this website. Not right now of course, but at some point in the future. This site is just a baby, and still needs a little nurturing. But keep checking back, because if you don’t, the biggest guy you’ve ever seen might just sneak up behind you.
